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Written By Evans Uhunoma
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Your Comments are highly needed.
All that filled my mind was Esohe
Esohe Esohe Esohe! That was all I wanted to hear. Any other thing was irrelevant.
Esohe was a young girl whose parents had just moved into a new flat in our neighborhood, directly opposite my house. This was a fundamental trouble to me oh.
I had never spoken to her sha. But the fear that I usually feel when I see her from afar ehn, if e hold even jackie chang, the guy fit piss for body.
“Ehm, it’s not as if I can’t talk to her oh. I can, but am just scared a little” I told Franklyn my friend. Franklyn laughed so loud that pple around us thought that he was just about to lose it as he use to have similar symptoms sometimes.
He finally said “Tega, chillax! Nor worry, I know this kind feeling. I first get am for Miracle the other time now… But last last I come discover say I nor even like her like dat sef. See, you be man. Walk up to her and clear her your mind bro.
Finally, the deal day. I woke up by 5:00am. Started to rehearse my lines “Esohe my bright and morning star. Ever since you came into this neighborhood, my heart has left my chest. I learnt it now resides with Rev Okafor, just waiting for yours to come, so that we can be joined in holy matrimony. I have never felt like this before in my entire life….”
I rehearsed these lines like 20 times to the extent that when mum asked me to recite psalm 23 in our morning devotion that day, I forgot every other thing and poured it out to them as I have crammed it. Because I had use the la cram, la pour la forget formula. But I had just used it wrongly in this situation.
It was finally Akpevwe, my elder brother’s slap that formatted my memory back to normal. I had to recite psalm 23-27 to appease them that morning.
Nevertheless, I still tried to gather the morale I could. In my own mind, I was like “I must make sure I talk to Esohe today oh”.
“How she go just steal my heart like this and leave me to myself all alone” I said to Franklyn.
“Baba go talk to this girl jare, before you stand there they look me like Mike’s bread. U nor know say delay dey dangerous. Meanwhile I trust those your lines can do the magic sha.” Franklyn replied sarcastically.
“Look Frank, Hope this outfit dey ok oh? See ehn I wan impress this girl so well ehn, until my face impress for her heart.
“Look Frank, Hope this outfit dey ok oh? See ehn I wan impress this girl so well ehn, until my face impress for her heart” I said.
“U see yourself. Beginning of failure. You carry go wear combination of four colours say u wan go win girl heart. Only you red, blue, yellow and pitch. U be rainbow?
Well, u fit end up winning her slap sha. As long as u win something.” Franklyn replied.
I took another look at my supposedly fine self. But with Franklyn’s comment, I knew I had to change it.
So I asked “Wetin u come advise make I wear na?”
“E nor hard, wear suit. Black suit, black tie, black hat, black belt, black shoe… ”
As he was still talking, I quickly cut him off, “ah ah, which kind friend you be sef. Na burial I dey go? ”
“Guy wait jare. Nor be u ask me for advice. Am not done na. Lemme continue jor. Then you go come wear white shirt inside, put on red brooch and hold rose flower. That way, u will be ready for her with your black, white and red combination”. Franklyn replied.
“Hmm, I hope this works, if it doesn’t ehn. I nor go happy with you sha oh. You would have wrecked my destiny that way. And am still imagining why you go say make I wear suit from here to here. Well, I hope it works sha.” I said.
Finally, I came out from my room. And the first comment I got from my younger sister was “brother doh. I nor know say u lose your class mate oh. So today na the burial. Eayah. May his soul rest in peace.”
My mouth was wide open. That was when it dawned on me that Franklyn had given me a very bad advice. “I hope this girl likes the outfit sha.” I still said to myself courageously.
No time again, so I couldn’t go and change. I went straight to her house with my mind full of those rehearsed lines with boldness.
She wasn’t outside. So I asked the younger sister to go and help me call her out.
Coincidentally, she was planning to go out too.. So she was gorgeously dressed.
In my mind I was like, when I give this girl my lines ehn, she go believe.
From afar, as she was walking down. Mehn, my head burst. She looked exactly like Darego when she first won miss world.
She got close to me and said “yes, how may I help you”.
With this first statement of hers ehn, the rose flower fell from my hand, all my rehearsed lines flew to Kilimanjaro mountain.
“What else will I tell my long awaited Esohe since my lines had failed me? I thought to myself.
At this point, I knew I was doomed…Esohe is just about to slip away from my fingers.
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