My Life As A Single Mum
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June 20, 2018 at 10:31 am #1228463
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One thing I know is that when God created me it was never an accident. He carefully planned and
looked forward to seeing my complete being. I can imagine the look of love and adoration at the sight of the work of His hands.David said it better in his psalm 139. All my days full of troubles and smiles ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. In light and in darkness alike I cannot hide from your spirit and to me that’s enough to keep me afloat this life of mixed ingredients. You know what people assume about me is not what I am. They judge according to what they see but God who searches the hearts of men knows everything about me.
what people talk about me is their business and am thankful to them for choosing me as their employer at a free cost. I don’t live my life to please anyone because what’s the use of pleasing others who have thick slices of their own sins? christ paid a price too dear for me to worry about that. oops forgive my lack of manners . my name is Wangu Banda am from chintheche Nkhatabay and I want to tell you how I became a single mother.
To me its like I have always been a mum to my baby Amanda because I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t on her beck and call. I stopped living for myself time immemorial and am totally absorbed in my motherhood role. I became pregnant when I was 16. The funny thing is that my parents don’t know of Amanda’s existence and I don’t intend to let them know anytime soon. If I take her home people will probably think I am doing my busy working neighbour a favour. my mum will even suggest to take her back to the owner on my provision of an address valid or invalid. That is the kind of trust my parents have for me because to them am their golden girl and I cant miss my step in this life.uhmm sad. Its a pity what people do to extreme heights in ignorance of their parents. I remember when I was nine years way back home. Our neighbor had a daughter Viyegzo who was the first girl to go to secondary school after a decade.
The whole village was happy and they supported her in everything. Before she wrote her JCE examinations she came back home and told her parents that they have closed the school due to water problems and will be recalled in a date later to be communicated. One day I was home alone when my mum and dad went to our maize field far away from home. I was in my room reading my books when I suddenly heard groans and m0ans followed by loud cries of a baby. I couldn’t concentrate on who would leave the baby to cry like that. The cries grew louder as I stepped outside. I realised that they were coming from the grass thatched bathroom behind the house. As I was approaching I shouted if their was anyone inside but there was no reply. I opened the bathroom door and …..
Oh my God!!!!!!
TbcJune 20, 2018 at 10:33 am #1228466
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Sometimes what we do when we are alone is our most safeguarded secret we do not want others to find out. The big guy upstairs must be shocked times without number at what His creations in His image do in the sanctuaries of their secrets. Why we do not want anyone to see or know our hidden things is because at the core of our conscious we know that it is a sin yet we continue giving excuses for it. Some people think that if others are not seeing them then God is not seeing them too. uhmm typical of a human mind. I tell you there will be drama at the judgement day.
What my eyes saw, paralyzed my heart with fear and shock. I couldn’t sponge the sight before me without feeling faint and a desire to throw up. Viyegzo was lying in the pool of her own blood while wrapping the baby in tattered cloths with all her remaining strength.
” i will kill you if you utter a word to anyone” i could barely hear her voice. My childish mind told me that something was amiss. i walked backwards and looked if i could find someone to help. It was all silent. I started running fast to find my mum. I run all the way as if the wind itself carried me. I found her and breathlessly narrated my ordeal. My mum was so shocked and pale. She shouted for Viyegzo’s mum in the neighboring field and together with other women we started off. Her mum continue wailing all the way as if there was a funeral. sometimes i don’t understand why women wail like that. Whether in earnest or in pretense you can never notice the difference or else go ask Nigerian actors they know best.
We were finally home. The women went to the bathroom as i had said but Viyegzo was not there and it was spotless. Naah if you could see how these women insulted my mum for raising a liar and spoilt kid like me , you would think they got paid for it. How could i have spoken things that were not worthy of me at my age? Viyegzo’s mum said her dear daughter had left for her friend’s place at the neighboring village earlier that morning and she had actually seen her off. She shouted at my mum that we were on a mission to destroy her family’s reputation because we were jealous of her daughter’s success hence i would never see the corridors of a secondary school. That broke my mum.
What happened to Viyegzo is another story for another day.
Since that day, it was like i had initiated myself in trouble. We carried on very well. I could beat and bully my classmates at school and defied my teachers to the extent of banning me to attend most of their lessons eventually i failed examinations and repeated three times in Standard 5. When we went to the lake swimming and washing with my friends, i could hide their clothes until dark. They would be going back home naked and crying. It used to give me amusement and satisfaction to see them suffer. The beating i would get from my dad later on sometimes made me think he was not my real father.
My mum was outside peeling cassava to make Kondowole flour for our nsima while my dad was at the lake mending fishing nets with his friends and i knew they would not be back anytime soon. I saw that opportunity as perfect to go in their room and find what i could steal. I went through my mum’s purses and handbags but i did not find anything i liked. A hymn book and a new testament bible were not my ‘thing’. I searched my dad’s pockets but found his tobacco and medicine for his cough. I never understood what pleasure he found in that smelly stuff. The tobacco was draining him sip by sip but he was too stubborn to see it. I looked in their traveling bag. excitement coursed in my blood as i touched something papery at the bottom and knew instantly what it was. Money and a lot of it. These people were cruel. The previous day my dad had refused to pay money for the book i had torn to tatters when my classmate refused to borrow it to me.Now what was this? I decided to tech him a lesson by taking all the money and spend it on those sweet candies i loved the following day at the market. I stuffed all the notes in my [email protected] and smothered the bulge which was showing. I smiled to myself.
I turned to go.
“Wangu uchitanji munu?” (What are you doing here Wangu?)
It was my father……………….
TbcJune 20, 2018 at 12:46 pm #1228523
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