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“Honey, please, open the door for me, if not for any other thing, allow me to see and touch our children”, but her cries and pleas fell on deaf ears. Undaunted, she knelt down, close to the door and started praying. She called on God to fix her family; she asked God to at least, touch her husband’s heart to allow her see her boys, who were crying as they looked at her through the window. Having prayed for three hours without having access to her “former home”, she got up and left. As soon as she left, her husband came out and mopped where she had knelt down… On her way to her friend’s house, where she had been squatting, since she had a misunderstanding with her husband, the events of the last few years rushed to her memory… she was from a poor home and she had to hawk goods in order to contribute to the income of the family. It was in the cause of carrying out this obligation that she met him. It was a case of love at first sight. He had fallen head over heels in love with her, not minding that they were poles apart, educationally. He was already a graduate, while she didn’t have the hope of gaining admission into any higher institution. She expressed her fears but he assured her he would sponsor her through school. Moreover, she was a virgin, a priceless gift! He fulfilled his promise, she was admitted into a tertiary institution. Everything moved on well, and he was ready to wait till their wedding night.
Trouble, however reared its ugly head when he mentioned marriage. His family said no, his sisters argued that she was below his “standard”, while him his mother maintained that the girl wouldn’t smell her home, since she had the guts to be rude to her on one occasion. When the heat became much, she decided to give the relationship a break, which owed to the fact that what they shared, threatened the peace of his family, but along the line, she lost her virginity. He continued to pester her for marriage, he was ready to sacrifice his family on the altar of love. She on the other hand couldn’t tell him what transpired when they broke up. She wanted nature to take its course. He performed her traditional marriage rites without the consent and presence of his family. They wedded in the church without their consent and presence too. Then, her nightmares began. She couldn’t do anything to please him, he became emotionally abusive to her. She bore him two sons, she tried to straighten the relationship between her and and her in-laws, but they would always threaten her. She was emotionally drained. He went to the extent of forcing her to take drugs meant for psychiatric patients. He accused her of having extramarital affairs, and also demonized her before her friends…. She wanted to stay, she wanted to make her marriage work, she didn’t want to be a divorcee, she didn’t want the predictions of her in laws to come to pass, but fate had a different package. When the threats wouldn’t stop, when it became a matter of life and death, she took a long walk… She would remember her kids, especially the one that was still breastfeeding when she left, and would weep uncontrollably. She regretted going into a union that lacked parental consent and blessings. She would always console herself by saying that she had paid back her husband by giving him sons, since he trained her in school…