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    How to Mend a Broken Relationship [\b]

    Hurt is inevitable in significant relationships. Yet
    pain and strife does not have to mean a
    relationship is going to end. Many couples find
    that working though trouble actually makes their
    relationship even stronger. What they realize is
    that all relationship require work, love, and
    patience to succeed, and this is especially true
    when trying to mend a broken relationship.

    Method One of Four:
    Repairing Issues between Couples

    Determine if the other person wants to fix the

    [\b] There is no sense in trying to fix
    something if you are the only one willing to do
    the work. If your partner is unapologetic for
    mistakes, dismissive of your desire to talk, or
    continues hurtful behavior, it might be time to
    move on
    It takes two people to mend a broken
    relationship. If you are the only one trying
    to save things then you will never succeed.

    Determine why the relationship is in trouble.

    All relationships go through rough patches at
    one point or another. As the novelty of your
    first few months together wears off, problems
    and stress start to pile up and things you once
    found cute begin to annoy you to no end. While
    there are always small issues in a relationship,
    some issues can cause problems when they
    linger under the surface for too long:
    You don’t believe you opinion is respected.
    You feel like your partner doesn’t care
    about your needs.
    You feel your partner is not helping with
    chores, bills, kids, etc.
    You don’t communicate well and/or argue

    Talk with your partner about what is bothering

    [\b] Many times, relationships end or hit rough
    spots when there is not adequate
    communication going on between the two
    parties. While difficult, you have to be willing
    to share your problems and issues with your
    partner to have any hope of fixing them.

    Make time to be honest with your partner.
    Your concerns have to come out in the
    open or they will never be fixed.
    It can help to write down your problems
    ahead of time, or discuss them with a
    close friend so you feel comfortable
    expressing yourself with your partner later.

    Listen to your partner’s responses instead of

    [\b] Instead of trying to think of what you
    need to say next, stop and try to understand
    what they are telling you. Careful listening
    shows respect, and will help you both figure
    out what is going wrong in your relationship.

    See the world from your partner’s eyes.

    [\b] Too
    often, couples get caught up in their own
    emotions and neglect to see why their partner
    is upset. This is the easiest way to drag
    arguments out for days and days, but it can be
    easily remedied. Pause for a moment and think
    about why your partner is upset. What sorts of
    mistakes have you made that might bother

    Act on your issues immediately.

    [\b] It is not
    enough to simply talk about your issues
    together. You need to do something to address
    them. Once you’ve figured out what is wrong
    between you, each one of you should come up
    with at least 2 things that you are going to do
    to address the issues. Tell your partner your
    solutions and ask them to hold you
    accountable– the only way to mend a broken
    relationship is to commit to healing it.
    If your partner feels like they do all the
    work, for example, make a list of 4-5
    chores that you will commit to doing every
    If your partner feels like there is no more
    romance in your relationship, designate a
    “date” night once a week.
    If your partner feels marginalized or
    unloved, make a point to listen more and
    talk less during dinner and before bed.

    Forgive each other.

    [\b] This can be the hardest
    part of mending a relationship, but also the
    most crucial. Forgiveness releases pent up
    anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t
    come back later in life, sabotaging all the
    progress you’ve made. Remember that no one
    is perfect, and without forgiveness there
    wouldn’t be a single working relationship on
    the planet.
    Forgiveness takes time, so don’t be afraid
    if you are still angry 1-2 days after an
    argument. Keep working on forgiving your
    partner and you’ll be surprised how quickly
    you let go of negative emotions.
    Talking to your partner and seeing their
    mistake through their eyes can help you
    understand the issue and offer forgiveness
    more readily.

    Give each other space and time to heal.

    [\b] Being
    together doesn’t mean you’ve got a leash over
    the other person. When mending a broken
    relationship, your instinct might be to spend
    every waking moment together. But this
    prevents the two of you from stepping back
    and seeing the big picture or your relationship,
    it’s good sides and bad. Spending every
    waking moment together often leads to
    fighting or feeling trapped.
    Remember the expression, “if you love
    something, set it free.” Stifling or
    micromanaging people only drives them
    away. Trust yourself and your partner to
    spend some time alone and you will both
    return happier and healthier.

    Remember why you fell in love.

    [\b] After a long
    time with the same person, it is easy to let the
    problems in your life, like money, kids, or
    stress, overwhelm the good memories you
    have. Try to take a step back from your daily
    life and think about what you enjoy about your
    partner, focusing on the reasons you work well
    together. This will help your let go of the
    negative thoughts that may have taken over
    lately and remember why you are in love
    Go through old photo albums and tells
    stories from your early days together.

    method two of four.


    Know that it can take a long time to rebuild
    trust after cheating.

    [\b] Once one partner loses
    faith in their partner it can take years to regain
    the trust that was lost. Any time a cheating
    partner leaves the house, meets up with
    coworkers, or texts someone new, feelings of
    jealousy and distrust are natural. Be prepared
    to work hard, and for several months, to
    rebuild trust after an affair.
    Commit to healing your relationship, no
    matter how difficult things are from day to
    day, and you can one day rebuild the trust
    that was lost.

    Take responsibility for your mistakes.

    [\b] Avoid
    making excuses, blaming your partner, or
    dismissing the affair as “a one-time thing.” In
    order to ask for forgiveness and begin moving
    on you need to take ownership of your
    infidelity. By taking a good, hard look at
    yourself you can eventually realize what made
    you decide to cheat and find ways to avoid
    making the same mistake.

    Ask for forgiveness.

    [\b] This can be the most
    difficult thing to do after an affair, no matter
    which side of the relationship you are on.
    Asking for forgiveness, however, is the only
    way to start the healing process – you cannot
    move forward if your partner is still harboring
    feelings of resentment. While you might not get
    forgiveness immediately, you need to humble
    yourself and ask for it anyway.
    You will likely have to ask for forgiveness
    multiple times, but you need to be honest
    and sincerely sorry for your transgressions.

    Become an open book.[\b]

    If you cheated on your
    partner, the fastest way to regain trust is to be
    completely transparent. Make your schedule,
    calendar, and contacts accessible to your
    partner.Avoid hiding things, even small things,
    as they can lead to feelings of distrust.

    Keep all of your promises.[\b]

    You need to show
    that you are dependable again. Call when you
    say you will call, show up on time, and do the
    errands or chores like your promised every
    single time.
    Never make promises you can’t keep.
    If you need to change plans, change them
    several days in advance, giving your
    partner ample time to adjust their schedule
    as well.

    Communicate about what your partner needs.

    Listen to what your partner needs from you to
    help mend the relationship. It may be more
    time together or more time apart. They could
    want you to come home from work earlier or
    stop drinking. No matter what it is, ask you
    partner “what can I do to help fix this” and
    listen to the answer without judgment.
    This is not, however, and invitation for
    abuse. Be sincere, helpful, and loving, but
    do not let your partner abuse you out of
    “fairness” or revenge.

    Method Three of Four:

    Avoiding Relationship Issues

    Spend time together.[\b]

    This seems obvious, but
    you have to be together to keep your love
    alive. Find things that you enjoy doing together
    and commit to them, from cooking dinner to
    going on Sunday hikes. A relationship requires
    work to stay healthy, so don’t neglect your
    partner and expect to stay in love.
    If you cannot be together, write each other
    letters or schedule times to talk on the
    phone or online.

    Communicate openly and honestly.[\b]

    communication steers off problems before they
    become giant issues. When something bothers
    you, bring it up instead of bottling it inside.
    Letting anger fester or grow only makes it
    harder to curb later on in the relationship.
    Jealousy, misunderstandings and ego can
    lead to many failed romances, so be
    upfront about your worries instead of
    hiding them.

    View each other as a team.[\b]

    Your partner is you
    other half, and you need to remember this
    when things get tough. One of the best parts
    about being in love is knowing that you don’t
    have to go through things alone – you have a
    partner and friend to help you get through
    stressful situations and feelings.
    Work on projects together.
    Discuss problems at work or home
    together and brainstorm solutions.
    Call your partner when you need someone
    to talk to. They should always be willing to
    listen when you need them. [\b]
    Invest time in personal development.[\b]

    Get up
    early and eat healthy, exercise, and take care
    of yourself. Not only does this make you
    happier, but it makes it easier to then focus on
    loving your partner. You need to be in the right
    physical and mental space to love your
    partner, and that means loving yourself.

    Accept your partner’s faults.[\b]

    No one is perfect,
    and we often judge our lovers more harshly
    than anyone else. Your partner is going to
    make a mistake or hurt your feelings, and it
    may be difficult to forgive them immediately.
    However, the only way to stay in love is to
    know and accept that your partner is not
    perfect, and forgive them when they are wrong.
    Accept and appreciate their quirks instead of
    trying to change them.
    You must be willing to give forgiveness in
    order to receive it. Don’t forget that you
    aren’t perfect either.

    Take a vacation together. „[\b]

    Escape from the
    stress of everyday life for a week or a weekend
    and Try to reconnect. A change of setting is a
    great way to change your frame of mind. Once
    you’ve left behind bills, work, and daily routines
    you can focus on what matters most: each
    If you cannot get away for vacation, find a
    way to have a vacation from home. Go out
    to dinner and a movie, rent a hotel room in
    town, or spend a rainy Sunday together in
    your pajamas.

    Method Four of Four:
    Knowing When to End a Relationship

    End relationships that constantly lead to pain
    or anger.[\b]

    Even if you have great times together
    when things are good, a person who
    constantly hurts you by yelling, cheating, or
    disappearing will never change. If you find
    yourself fighting or hurting regularly then you
    are stuck in an unhealthy relationship, and you
    need to get out.
    Don’t let patches of happiness make you
    second-guess your decision. Your partner
    should almost never hurt you or break your
    heart, no matter how good they are the
    rest of the time.

    Know that relationship issues are never one
    person’s fault.[\b]

    A relationship is between two
    people, so never let your partner blame your for
    all of the issues in your relationship. Someone
    who passes blame and refuses to think about
    their own role will be very difficult, if not
    impossible, to get on your side. Never let
    someone force you to change to save a
    relationship – this is a sign of a controlling
    and unhealthy relationship.
    You should always feel free to be yourself
    with your partner.

    Note if you fights resolve healthily or drag on
    for weeks.

    Healthy relationships have their
    share of arguments, but they usually resolve
    themselves quickly and without violence or
    screaming. If you fights last for days or weeks,
    or you keep having the same fight time and
    time again, it may be time to look for someone
    This applies if you fight over different
    things every day as well. If you find
    yourself fighting over every single thing
    that happens, step back and ask yourself

    Realize when you and your partner’s plans no
    longer mesh. [\b]

    Couples that once had perfect
    chemistry can run into trouble when life-goals
    and missions collide. If one person, for
    example, wants to go back to grad school
    while the other wants to travel the world, one
    person might feel slighted or cheated no matter
    which choice you go with. If you are constantly
    fighting or drifting apart because you have
    different dreams, it may be time to pursue your
    goals on your own
    Discuss marriage or having kids – if you
    and your partner have opposing
    viewpoints, then this is a red flag that a
    long-term relationship might have

    End a relationship when you spend more time
    miserable than happy.[\b]

    Love is about having
    fun, feeling secure, and enjoying your life
    together. If you find yourself regretting time
    together, waking up unhappy, or miserable in
    your partner’s company, it is time to move on.

    #662316 Reply
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    #662331 Reply
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    #662333 Reply
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    #662338 Reply
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    So inspiring.. Thanks for that.

    #662354 Reply
    John Walter El Marshall
    John Walter El Marshall
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    I don’t want a broken heart cause I’ll lose all the pieces!

    #662388 Reply
    Individual (scott)
    Individual (scott)
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    true talk

    #662393 Reply

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