(1) In America most of the tall guys are
But in Nigeria the tall guys are BOARD
I killed 2 Igbo mosquitoes today
How did I know they were Igbo??
Because they were flying near my wallet
3.) Some of these girls can’t walk pass a
cemetery in peace…coz the babies they have
aborted will be shouting their names, ”Hey
4.) Gentlemen No girl is ugly…It’s just that
some of them look like their fathers. #Lmao
5.) The Lies We Sang During Primary School
“I Remember When I Was A Soldier”
When Was That Self?
6.) These days our Naija artists won’t kill
Davido, which one is “Banana fall on you?”
All these girls just dancing to the song up
and down, no wahala, until you miss your
period after dancing. #Hehehehehehehe**
7.) It’s only in Nigeria you will tell sum1 how
u suffered while growing up and they will
reply “u nor suffer reach me”, as if suffering
is a competition… Na wah o.
8.) If a man tells you he is not like other men,
my sister ask him if he can give birth. #Lol**
9.) My girlfriend just broke up with
me and I feel like killing myself and I ate
fried rice,Chicken and and drank juice but
nothing happened to me
#PalzWhat else can I use?
10.) When u see a group of Four girls
& u want to Talk to one, First Greet the
Ugly one, She is d Commander in Chief
11.) I bought Gucci soap for ¢200 and Gucci
sponge for ¢350 and since morning, I’ve
been looking for where to bathe for people
to see me.
12.) Attention! Attention!!
…A cry for help!!
Please someone should help me tell the
person driving this country *NIGERIA * to
stop! I want to come down, am not going
again! [email protected]
13.) Most Girls Pray For Hardworking men,
Yet They Don’t Respond To Greetings From
14.) That moment when your battery is at
1% and you see your Boss upload pictures
of himself and his family. And wanting to
impress him, you quickly comment “cool
pics” but auto correct changes it to “cool
pigs” and your battery runs out!
My brother Don’t even bother explaining,
just go look for another job.
15.) Girls of Nowadays don’t cry after
They behave like Cashiers in the Bank, Next
16.) A man was angry because he had it in
his head that someone stole his wallet. He
walked into a church to steal someone else’s
wallet, but later had a change of heart
during the service.
He confessed to the priest afterwards about
what his intentions had initially been. The
priest then asked, “What made you change
The man said, “In your sermon on the Ten
Commandments when you got to ‘Thou shall
not commit adultery,’ I remembered where I
left my wallet!” #Lmao**
17.) Today I saw two blind people fighting
then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with
the knife”, they both ran away.
18.) I was watching Christmas drama
rehearsal by a church drama group during
last Christmas and I nearly burst into
tears…Why? Mary told Joseph she was
pregnant and Joseph shouted “Jesus Christ!
For who?” And I became confused.
19.) Do u know that #MALTINA Has the
following vitamins: A, B, B1, B2, B3, B4, B5, C,
D…?? Chaiiiiiii… So I’ve been drinking
somebody’s WAEC result. #Lmao**
20.) I keep hearing evry1 saying”who wil
b my val?”
My question is what happened to ur last
Motor jam am?
21.) This heat is too much, you might think
the Government has chewed the money
meant for the rains too aba, na WA for you
22.) Hotel Room 80k for 24hours. It’s ok I
will Sleep with the gateman.
23.) The way people die on radio during a
radio program is so alarming .
You will just hear, Hello! hello! Oh we lost
24.) Some girls should please try and
reduce makeup, especially on valentine…
Yesterday I Kissed a girl on her forehead
and it tasted like tiger head battery.
25.) Beat an African child, console him with
biscuit & ask him “Who beat you?” He will
point at another person.
That’s how corruption started in Africa.
26.) My friend is getting married this
Saturday, I was so excited, until I checked
the transport fare from Port Harcourt to
Lagos, I just remembered that he offended
me in JSS 2
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