Forums Stories (drama) What is Ugly?

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    My sister, everyone called a gazelle –
    she was long-limbed, skinny, fair-
    skinned and graceful. She was
    incredible and I remember wishing I
    could marry her as a young child! (Oh
    I’m a girl by the way – but, yes, she
    was that amazing!)
    So, there was my sister and then the
    two other boys – my beautiful
    brothers! My friends used to tell me
    when we were growing up – ‘’Bolupe,
    your brothers are so fine, it’s simply
    not right to call them handsome – they
    are beautiful!’’ I mean, don’t get me
    wrong, I had the regular sisterly pride
    in thinking my brothers were okay
    looking… but beautiful? I would be
    kind enough to maybe try to see what
    my friends were seeing and stare hard
    at my brothers while they played
    soccer outside the house or watched
    their favourite movie on the VCD and
    might be so inclined to believe that
    until I walked in on them in the
    bathroom doing a smelly number
    again or we start fighting over a plate
    of food and I think Nah! My brothers
    remain the ugliest human beings ever!
    But now that we are all grown and
    each have our living spaces and don’t
    have to fight over stuff, I see it! My
    brothers are really, really fine!!! And
    they always date fine girls… serially in
    the early days yes! But that’s a story
    for another day!
    And then there is me!
    Okay, I started out average looking till
    I was all of about 8 years old when the
    world started getting smaller and
    everyone in the world around me just
    looked really short! I mean, what
    happened to all my tall uncles? By the
    time I was in JSS1, guys in the
    University were stepping to me and
    because I had one of those ‘if you kiss
    a boy, you will die’ kind-of-mums and
    I did kiss a boy in JSS3 and I did not
    die – In fact, I was well and alive
    enough to land him a hot slap after the
    delicious but quite confusing
    experience and that was when I
    realised that adults in fact do lie – I
    really had no one to talk to about all
    these emotions I was experiencing!
    From JSS3 onward, I hardly had any
    teacher taller than I was. And by the
    way, I was not skinny – Oh No! This is
    not some cute, pretty Agbani Darego
    kind of story… I was big too! And as a
    teenager and at an age when boys
    were pretty insecure about themselves
    – their voice breaking, beard (not)
    growing, body just forming, I found it
    tough competing with all the cute
    malleable, little gazelle-like, non-
    threatening creatures that were the
    smaller/regular sized girls in my
    classes throughout high school who
    they {the boys} were more
    comfortable hanging out with! And I
    think it was made more difficult with
    the fact I did not go to one high school
    – I went to FIVE!
    Maybe if I had just gone to one, all the
    kids in the school would have gotten
    used to the big girl in school but I kept
    switching schools and school kids
    would flock to my almost yearly new
    class to take a peek! Mostly boys –
    interestingly enough! I think I
    fascinated them – I was a mystery
    really and they always, always
    approached me with caution! My teen
    years were a rough, tough, horrible
    period in my life and my physical
    appearance was not all but was one of
    the major causes of that! But then
    again, though I had some fun with it as
    well as some pretty good times with
    some friends I made back then, I think
    sometimes when you have had some
    really traumatic experiences; they
    drown out (most of) the grand
    So yes, I was an ugly, fat, blotchy
    skinned teenager! And my parents did
    not help matters… my mum would
    sometimes look at me critically, long
    and hard for interminable minutes at
    a time, shake her head and say ‘nibo
    ni moti ri e he na?’ (Where did I get
    you from?) I would wail and cry really
    hard after those episodes in between
    peeking through my mum’s room
    window at the ‘resident gazelle’ in our
    home in yet another guy’s car in our
    There were a thousand variations of
    these scenes until one day… something
    happened that tipped the balance –
    totally changed my world around!
    Two things really:
    One: I got admitted into the (almighty)
    University…What??? That I still think
    is one of the very best experiences I
    have ever had – The University meant
    a lot of things to me – freedom to be
    myself, shop for the things that fit my
    unusual body and not rely on my
    mum’s stuck-in-the-dark ages, 50s
    sense of style. Especially seeing as the
    ‘vintage’ look wasn’t cool in the 90s. I
    also got to make my own way, choose
    my own friends and live my own life…
    it was the sweetest taste of life I had
    ever had! OH! My Lord! I still look
    back and think I would have made
    changes anyway even if the other
    thing did not happen but maybe not as
    quickly. Plus I lost a bit of the baby fat
    and everyone else was catching up to
    me in size – either way, the world did
    not look so small anymore! But the
    second and in retrospect, maybe even
    more important thing happened…
    I fell in love! Head over heels… I can
    smell his perfume still and feel his
    arms as he grabbed and gave me a
    long farewell hug after 4 hours of
    flirty, mostly whispered conversation
    even though we were hiding out in a
    secluded part of the beach we met at –
    I wanted to kiss him so bad but I did
    not even though he tried to! I
    remember every word of our
    conversation and cried when we
    parted although he swears till this day
    I never showed I liked him – I was that
    You see I fell in love with this
    painfully ‘beautiful’ dude and for the
    first time I saw myself as beautiful
    through his eyes – he looked at me and
    I knew! I just knew I had to be and the
    fear of having him look at another: the
    same way he looked at me drove me to
    a 4-month non sugar diet with fainting
    spells and dehydrated days.. For the
    first time in my life, I was skinny and
    felt beautiful – I was even almost a
    There’s a lot more to the story but I
    ask ‘What changed?’ I mean, I never
    even dated the guy because I thought
    he was too beautiful! And even though
    I ended up dating more beautiful ones
    in later years as I found myself, I
    never forgot about the one ‘that got
    away’ all because of a perceived
    Over the next couple of years, I
    fluctuated between weight gain and
    weight loss but I never, ever again
    allowed myself to ‘feel’ ugly! Bring on
    the fat days and the skinny days, the
    love days and lost ones, the friend-full
    ones and friend-less ones….
    It might have taken meeting him to
    make me feel beautiful but it took
    meeting me to make me stay beautiful!

    #1272536 Reply
    • "Posts & Comments"1745
    • ☆☆

    Waoh nice one

    #1272583 Reply
    • "Posts & Comments"5243
    • ☆☆☆

    Beauty they say is in d eyes of the beholder

    #1272600 Reply
    • "Posts & Comments"12862
    • ☆☆☆☆☆


    #1272612 Reply
    • "Posts & Comments"20014
    • ☆☆☆☆☆


    #1272737 Reply
    • "Posts & Comments"4270
    • ☆☆☆

    beauty involves many things

    #1273049 Reply
    • "Posts & Comments"9766
    • ☆☆☆☆

    Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

    Taink you

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
Reply To: What is Ugly?

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